Real Talk From Real People About
What it Takes to Make Dreams Happen
By Valerie Young
 The
last issue offered a series of lessons about what it takes to achieve a dream.
In it I talked about finally realizing my own long-standing dream of having a
home with a view.
Apparently finding a sense of “home” resonated with a
number of readers who kindly took the time to share with me the joys and
challenges of pursuing their own dreams. Here are their stories in their own
words and what they have to teach us all about going after our dreams.
A Dream Realized
Dear Valerie,
Your recent
article about wanting to live in the country and having that dream become a
reality struck such a cord with me. My husband and I also dreamed of having a
place out in the country with wide open spaces but with housing prices so high
we concluded that we were grateful for our nice little efficient rambler in
town. But we never stopped going for the wandering drives looking for just
“that place” that we could get for a steal. We never gave up hope.
Driving my
two-year-old son around trying to get him to take a nap, I came upon this little
road which was just so picturesque with the nicest farm type places along it and
always thought to myself - "if that house ever comes up for sale, I'm buying
it." Well, lo and behold one of the very old farmsteads came up for auction. I
happened to see the ad in the local newspaper and showed my husband. He was
excited but was hesitant to take such a risk and didn't actually think it would
be something we could afford.
To make a long
story short, after viewing the house at the open house and doing some creative
financing, we went to the auction and stood among 100 other people while the
belongings of this entire 100 year old farm were auctioned off one by one. We
waited nervously all day for the auctioneer to get to the property. Some people
told us not to get our hopes up – that it would go pretty high and we couldn’t
go that high in price and that it needed too much renovating, while others came
in support and wished us the best.
At the end of the
day, we had our house and 15 acres for $87,000! I have to say it was the most
exciting day of my life. Now 3 and a half years later we have done some
renovations, grown a huge garden and feel so incredibly satisfied knowing we
have our little plot of space in the country. The property has literally
tripled in value but we really don't care because we plan on being here until
the cows come home....thanks for all the encouragement.
We are so proud of the risk we took and how well it is turning out. I work part
time at a university in St. Paul (a one hour commute) and my husband is a
carpenter who drives all over. But we both agree that the commuting time is well
worth our life here. We couldn’t imagine a better place to raise our two small
children, let alone ourselves!! I think one of our favorite things is watching
the farmers go by on their tractors and the big round hay bales popping up on
the fields. I know that someday one of our little outbuildings will become my
art studio.
Bonnie Kloos
St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin
A Dream in Progress
Dear Valerie,
I hope you don't mind if I take a
few minutes to share a recent dream of mine. Several years ago a friend told me
of a town called New Bern, NC. The way she described it made it sound idyllic;
she and her husband had discovered the town and bought land there to retire in a
few years. I knew it was a place I had to see...someday.
Recently, I decided that my
10-yr-old daughter and I needed to take a “girls only” vacation. My husband and
son go to Boy Scout summer camp every year and we girls don't do anything
special; this year it's time to change that!
While pondering what places we might
visit, I eventually thought of New Bern. As I mentioned it to other people, I
heard things like, “Oh yes, it's beautiful” or “I've heard wonderful things
about that place.” I also watched a movie (“The Notebook”) based on a book by my
favorite author (Nicholas Sparks). While watching the “author's commentary” on
the DVD, Mr. Sparks mentioned that the movie was set in (or maybe based on) New
Bern, NC, where he lives. That cinched it for me; I just have to see this place,
and the sooner, the better!
I am now trying to choose between
using a friend’s time share week, renting a hotel room, or renting an apartment
in the town. Wherever I decide to stay, my daughter and I are going for a week
in August. I can’t wait to make my dream a reality! I spoke with a Realtor in
New Bern today who told me she's lived in six different places in NC, and she's
“home” now. I just wish I could leave tomorrow to go there!
Thanks so much for helping me take a
few minutes to further dream my own dream. I have started a list of “100 things
to do before I die” and I need to add “Visit New Bern, NC” to it. I plan to
rename my list “100 things to do in my lifetime” instead, though. It just sounds
better.
Kim Murray
Manassas, Virginia
A Dream Adjusted
Dear Valerie,
One thing I
don’t recall you talking about in your recent article is the sacrifices we
sometimes have to make in the realization of our dreams. You talked about
setting goals to realize your dream of finding a house with a view. I did
something similar.
I wanted to
move to San Diego from Washington, DC. It took me five years, but I managed to
get my house repaired and cleaned up and listed with a realtor, search for a
house in San Diego, and finally make the move.
My even longer
term goal was to live for several months at a time in a number of different
countries. I have no idea how to achieve this goal, but it’s certainly worth
writing down. The scariest thing, though, is the sacrifices I would have to
make.
I have 13 cats
and two dogs who I love dearly, like children. I never planned to accumulate all
these animals, but they came to me when my mother died and my daughter had
children. I could never part with them, never. And they won't all die off for
another 15 years or so. By then, I'll be 66! My dilemma is how can I achieve this
long term goal without sacrificing the pets, which I simply am not willing to
do?
Karen Stewart
San Diego, CA
Lessons from Your Fellow Dream Makers
I’m inspired by all three of these dream makers. Bonnie’s
story shows us that despite the odds if you want something bad enough – even if
it feels like a long shot – you owe it to yourself to at least try. My favorite
line from Bonnie’s letter was, “We never gave up hope.” And look where she and
her family are today!
Quite apart from her business (which represents a dream
realized), Kim reminded us that pursing a dream begins by taking small steps.
Often this means the simple act of gathering information. In Kim’s case this
meant actually planning a trip to see if a certain place is right for her and
her family. In your case it may be learning more about what it would take to
restore antique motorcycles, or write children’s books, or become a personal
organizer, or become an event planner, or work with animals, or start an
adventure travel company, or sell on eBay or whatever your dream job might be.
That could involve something as simple as buying a book, doing a bit of online
detective work, taking a class, or interviewing someone who’s done it.
This is not the first time Kim’s has gone after a dream.
Those of you looking for a portable career, may be interested to know that the
reason she can pick up and move is because as a self-employed virtual assistant
(or VA for short); Kim can literally work from anywhere in the world. That’s
because VAs work from home helping clients from literally anywhere in the world
by handling administrative, event planning, travel planning, bookkeeping,
scheduling and/or other functions associated with an executive assistant.
As a big fan of Stacy Brice’s Virtual Assistant training
program, I was thrilled to hear that Kim is an enthusiastic graduate of Stacy’s
program. If you want to learn more about Kim’s business, visit
HarmonyVA.com. To hear my interview with Stacy Brice and learn more about
what a VA does and what takes to make it in this portable home-based business
visit ChangingCourse.com/asktheexpertaudio.htm#stacy.
Last but not least is Karen. Karen’s success in getting
herself from DC to San Diego reminds us that sometimes a dream takes time – in
Karen’s case five years. And, that like any journey, detours and roadblocks can
and do happen. But rather than sit helplessly by the side of the road, dreamers
must also learn to find a way to get to their destination even if that means
sometimes “remapping” the dream.
In Karen’s case this meant adjusting her dream of
spending several months at a time abroad to take into account her new family of
pets – and as any pet lover will tell you they do become like family. What I
suggested Karen do was consider adjusting her goal so she would be away for a
shorter period of time.
What if she lived in a different country for a month
every year instead of several months? In 15 years she would have experienced 15
different countries. Then when the pets are gone, she’ll have enough first hand
experience to know exactly where she’d love to live for longer periods. And
knowing she’d only be away from her pets for four out of 52 weeks would make the
separation (to say nothing of arranging pet care) more manageable. While her
pets would surely miss her, and she them, like any “children,” I think Karen’s
would be proud of her for following your heart.
As for how to afford living abroad, check out Resources
for a Change below.
Given the fact that Karen did what she needed to do to
relocate cross country, it’s clear that Karen understands that when it comes to
going after a dream that sacrifice goes with the territory. She just had to get
over this emotional hump about how to satisfy her wanderlust and be a caring pet
owner. Sometimes just talking a dilemma through with a neutral friend can
re-open a blocked path.
Karen’s letter got me thinking about the topic of
sacrifice. So I began rifling through twelve years worth of past issues of
Barbara Winter’s inspiring newsletter Winning Ways (ChangingCourse.com/winningways.htm) in search of a certain
article. I finally found it in the March/April 1999 issue. The fact that it’s
been six years since I first read Barbara’s thought-provoking article,
“Sacrifice or Stepping Stone” tells you that it made a lasting impression.
In it Barbara talked about how instead of sacrifice being a dirty
word, that when it is in service of your dream, sacrifices are things we
are all too willing to do. Here’s a brief excerpt:
“I was interviewed by a radio station in Washington,
DC about making a living without a job. As I was sharing my enthusiasm for
the joyfully jobless life, the interviewer said, ‘Yes, but what about the
sacrifices? Aren’t there a lot of sacrifices to be made?’ She said the word
‘sacrifices’ as if it were a contagious disease to be avoided at all costs.
While her question and attitude didn’t surprise me, it did cause me to think
about the cultural climate that has made the notion of sacrifice so
repugnant to so many.
Instant gratification has become such a popular idea
that few people are willing to consider that giving up something in the
present in order to have something greater in the future is actually a wise
trade-off.
Victorian author Charles Kingsley defined the
conflict precisely when he observed, ‘We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life when all that we need to make us really
happy is something to be enthusiastic about.’ I suspect that the true reason
the radio interviewer – and many others – shy away from the prospect of
making sacrifices comes from their failure to have something to be
enthusiastic about.
Once you know what it is that you must do in life,
what the world calls sacrifice looks more like a necessary step in the
direction of our dreams rather than a hardship.”
What is it that you must do in your life? What necessary
steps can you take in the direction of your dreams? As these three “regular”
people prove, it doesn’t take an extraordinary amount of courage or money to go
after a dream. But it does take action. As Henry Hoskins once said, “Enthusiasm
finds the opportunities, and energy makes most of them happen.” Go find
something to be enthusiastic about and then make it happen!
About the Author
Off the beaten path career
counselor, Valerie Young, abandoned her corporate cubicle to become the Dreamer
in Residence at
ChangingCourse.com, offering free resources
to help you discover your life mission and live it. An expert on the Imposter
Syndrome, she's presented her How to Feel as Bright and Capable as Everyone
Seems to Think You Are program to over 30,000 people.
Find more articles written by
Valerie at
ChangingCourse.com/articles/ | 
