Changing Course Newsletter: Issue 253

In the Life

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times... If you want to be an entrepreneur, you absolutely MUST start hanging out with people who are where you want to be.

Tory Johnson and Me
(Next time I buy a new camera case I'll remember to take the plastic off the lens first :-))

I know at least three readers have gotten the message because I met them at Good Morning America's workplace contributor Tory Johnson's Spark & Hustle Bootcamp earlier this month in Boston.

Tory is as real as she is on TV and one hundred percent dedicated to helping women start and succeed in their own businesses. Favorite quote of the day, "I love anything that puts power and control in your hands."

The next day was the Massachusetts Conference for Women featuring an amazing line up including Martha Beck, Marion Jones, Mika Brzezinski, and America Ferrara.

The same conference was also held in Texas and Pennsylvania with all three events attracting upwards between 6,000 and 8,000 attendees.

Two of the more delightful attendees were these teens from Grlz Radio. This nationally recognized radio station and after school program run by adolescent girls is not only creating future thought leaders, but based on some of the guests they've interviewed on the show, it's promoting entrepreneurship as well! Go Grlz!

I would have loved to have heard the speakers, but I was there to promote The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women as an exhibitor. My goal was less about selling books as it was about booking future speaking gigs.

Other exhibitors though definitely came to sell. And with the holidays coming up, it appears a lot of attendees came prepared to buy. Dozens of vendors were on hand selling jewelry, bags, scarves, and other items.

In my next life I plan to come back as a cashmere scarf vendor. The guy in the booth across from me was positively mobbed all day. At $10 a pop for scarves I'm told cost around $5 wholesale, I'm estimating that he took in somewhere in the high four figures -- all cash sales.

I definitely didn't need any scarves on my short trip to spend Christmas with family in Florida. When I wasn't hanging at the beach with my Dad, I was eating way too much food, watching one of the dozens of Christmas movies my sister taped, and engaging in my new obsession -- going online to check out Florida real estate as potential investments.

Speaking of investments... I hope you're poised for a bright New Year, one where you invest serious time and effort into changing course to work at what you love.

I predict this year to be a turning point for a lot of people, including myself.

Every year my friend Barbara Winter picks a word to represent the thrust for the New Year. For me those words are: Energy and Change.

What are your one or two words that will drive your 2012? Post them on the Blog now!

Changing Careers? How to Get Around the Three Major Mental Roadblocks to Success

A part of you can't wait to dive into your new career -- but you're also smart enough to know that you can expect a few bumps along the road to success. By far, the biggest roadblocks exist between your own two ears!

Let's take a look at three common mental roadblocks and learn how to overcome them.

ROADBLOCK No. 1: Wishful Thinking

How many times have you wished you'd hit the lottery? Now, how many times have you actually won the lottery? Far too many people spend far too much time wishing when they should be dreaming.

Wishing is passive. We wish for things over which we have little or no control. We wish we were taller or thinner. We wish the waiter would hurry up. We wish our boss wasn't so [you fill in the blank].

The other thing about wishes is that they are often tinged with regrets about past decisions -- both big and small. We wish we'd ordered the fish instead of the chicken. We wish we'd taken the other job. We wish we hadn't let the love of our life get away.

Dreaming is different. For one, a dream is active. Unlike wishes, we can actually do something about a dream. After all, you don't "wish up" a plan, you dream one up!

1. It doesn't take a single extra ounce of energy to dream big than it does to settle.

ROADBLOCK No. 2: What If Everyone Thinks You're Crazy?

You've probably already thought about the people you can count on to support your plan to create a more meaningful work/life. But have you also taken stock of those you should make a point NOT to turn to?

Unless you come either from money or from a long line of pioneers, you may not get the support you want from your family. With the best of intentions, you may find your dream of quitting your job to pursue your dream career met with advice to "play it safe," reminders that "you're lucky to have a good job," or a lecture on the seemingly insurmountable odds standing between you and success.

No matter how old you are, or how much you deny it, family approval does matter. This fact, of course, makes it all the more painful when the people we love fail to give us the emotional green light we so desperately seek.

Other people's fear, skepticism, and negativity can be as contagious as the flu. And unless you've built up your immune system, these dream stompers can knock you for a loop -- especially when they are right in your own family.

You have a choice. You can either continue to turn to these naysayers in hopes that they'll respond differently, or you can choose the saner path of acceptance.

Don't look for support from people whose life experiences have not prepared them to know how to support your dreams. Instead, take advantage of the support that really is available.

ROADBLOCK No. 3: Fear of Change

The closer you come to leaving the security of your 9-to-5 job (no matter how much you want out) the greater your level of excitement and trepidation (see "Word to the Wise," below).

Anyone who has ever ventured out of their safe little world will tell you they had doubts. But when it comes to making a major life change, not only is a certain amount of fear perfectly normal, it's actually helpful. There is a reason the web site is called ChangingCourse.com and not Jump-off-a-Cliff.com. The healthy part of fear is what will keep you from quitting your in a huff before you've put some other things in place. And the great thing about fear is that there are ways to deal with it.

So, try laughing in the face of fear. Am I kidding? No. Ridiculing your fears is actually a very effective technique for banishing them -- because the mind rejects that which it considers absurd.

The trick is to turn your fears into a ridiculous event in your mind. That way, you allow your natural human reaction to absurdity to take over and dismiss them.

Try it yourself. Take your biggest fear and take it to extremes. Really exaggerate it. Let's say you're paralyzed by the fear of failure. Try picturing your entire family, all of your friends, your neighbors, everyone you went to high school with, even your boss, standing outside your cardboard-box home holding up signs that read: "We Told You So!"

Pretty ridiculous, right? When you realize that your worst-case fantasy is just that -- a fantasy -- what felt overwhelming will now feel much more manageable.

Another way to manage the fear of venturing out on your own is to start small. If the thought of just up and quitting your day job frightens you, start building your client base on the side. Begin with low-risk steps and gradually work your way up to the harder stuff.

Remember, courage is not a matter of losing your fear so you can take action; courage comes from taking action. And that, in turn, helps you overcome your fear. When you can act despite your fears, you will be rewarded many times over.

Profiting From Your Passions^� expert Valerie Young abandoned her corporate cubicle to become the Dreamer in Residence at ChangingCourse.com offering resources for people who want to work at what they love. Her career change tips have been cited in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today Weekend, More, Kiplinger's, Woman's Day, and elsewhere and on-line at MSN, CareerBuilder, and iVillage.com. Valerie is also the author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It with Crown Publishing/Random House.